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[30 Nov 2008|11:11pm] |
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It’s been a long time since I updated this!!
Today my two-legs gave me some slimy dee she calls ‘egg’, there was a scary mist that tried to eat my fur and I felt warm on my bed thanks to this weird warm object that the two-legs fills with water to keep me warm.
Her two-legs friend with extra fur has been here a few days. Whenever this particular male is around the den they always sit there for hours making loud happy noises from their face holes.
I wish I could understand what my two-legs were saying at times… whenever my female two-legs grabs my face and shakes me she says ‘gliche cat – SLAVE!’ – these words don’t really mean much to me but they make both her and the hairy two-legs make those loud noises.
I am currently curled up at the moment enjoying some nap time, tomorrow is a long and arduous day ahead! I have to make sure to poop in all the other gardens before it’s no-shadow-time.
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[07 May 2008|12:44pm] |
Hello livejournal friends!
I haven’t updated this for a long time – that’s because I have been busy chasing birds in the garden, eating spiders and throwing up in my two-legs shoes.
For the past 3 days I’ve not been super well, every morning I seem to chuck up what looks like a hairy apple – IT’S NOT VERY NICE!
I try to warn my two-legs but she never listens...
Like this morning, I was feeling on the verge of pukesville – I looked up at her as she was rubbing a weird stick all over her chewers, she looked down at me and say ‘SLAVE CAT!’ as she does. I will never know what that means.
ANYWAY she wouldn’t listen! I was heaving my guts up all over the carpet, obviously my attempts to communicate the way two-legs do had failed :< it all came out onto the mat and she picked me up, making a ‘lul la hul’ noise before placing me on the floor again.
I felt hungry, forgetting it was actually my cat puke on the floor I chowed down for some breakfast.
THEN MY TWO LEGS LEFT – as usual. I don’t know where she goes for days on end but it sure as heck isn’t hunting, there is never any decent kill in my eating pit! I DEMAND GOOD KILL!
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[05 Feb 2008|05:44pm] |
HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO MEEEE
I LIKE TO EAT LOADS OF DEE
I AM SO MANGLED AND RETARDED
AND MY NAME IS TEMUNIN TEE!
It's my birthday, I am eight years old. My two-legs made me special Dee this morning and I have a nip toy. Life is good.
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[12 Nov 2007|12:57pm] |
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When my two-legs is out hunting I love to rub my skin and fur all over her coffee table! THAT WAY ALL THE EGGS STICK TO HER TABLE CLOTH LOL LOL LOL I R GENIUS!
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[08 Nov 2007|07:32am] |
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As always I am alone in my territory today, the two-legs tend to spend vast amounts of time hunting (sometimes upwards of 12 hours a day they are gone) but whenever they come back they never seem to have a kill with them... though that being said they always fill my DEE-Dish with fresh DEE everyday, so maybe they have the kill somewhere I cannot see?
I like days like today... everything is quiet and calm, outside is cold yet bright and there are plenty of plump floating DEE things to try and catch, and mercilessly kill!
Yum.
My two-legs doesn’t like it when I roll about in dirt and rubbish because she says I get ‘Fleas’... whatever they are... but I love rolling about, it means my scent will be all over my territory and other cats will know to stay away.
Though the only down side is the not-food-hoppers... they bite my skin and steal my fur!
... I wonder when my two-legs will be back today...
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[02 Sep 2007|11:43am] |
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The past two months have been amazing.
I am much happier here in my new territory than I was back in stinky seaside town.
My super amazing mummy drew me a picture a few weeks ago... it's me as a Yokai!
My Mum is so good to me.
I had a really bad time with the not-food-jumpies last month. They were biting so much I couldn’t even sleep!
Luckily Mr Dad took care of it by spraying me with smelly stuff and forcing me to have loads of washing time in the big white box! WHICH I HATE!!
But if my two-legs think that is what’s best for me, then they are right.
There is a really weird and bizarre two legs who lives in the big den beside us… he is always looking at me and trying to step on me.
I don’t like him.
Oh well.
Last night was good; I was hanging about by the big smelly food boxes the two-legs leave outside.
I climbed in and had a feast!
It’s amazing what things you find in those… I found a half rotten fish and some dirty cheese gratings.
I was in heaven.
I am going to get back to chasing things and licking my smelly places!
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[02 Jul 2007|01:28pm] |
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Hungee for dee! |
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I have been living in a totally new place for just over a week now, my two-legs has been acting really weird but it hasn't effected us.
I have free reign of this huge house, and I get to go out now too! I already got into a fight with this other cat across from me, what a horrible cat he is! HE TRIED TO STEAL MY DEE!
Nobody steals my dee and lives to tell the tale!
Unfortunatly I have only 3 legs, so he held me to the ground and scratched my face up... but atleast he knows not to come back in through my flap nomore!
I am alot happier here... no more Gizmo or Gally being all fat and annoying, no more stinky weston! NO MORE CHATS! (That's chav cats).
Everything seems so much nicer here... and there are lots of little fluffies around to eat - not that I can catch any of them, being all disabled!
I am worried about my two-legs though.... she definitly hasn't been herself lately, and her smell is slightly different... something isn't quite right about it.
I just hope she gets better soon.
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[17 Jun 2007|05:08pm] |
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My two-legs put me in the big wet box last night and I was soaked for hours! But now my fur is all glossy and soft, and smells like the weird fruits the two-legs eats.
I am a whole new cat!
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[08 Jun 2007|11:00pm] |
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I JUST WENT TO MY BOWL AND THERE WAS NO DEE!!!
NUUUUUUUU!!!!!!!
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[08 Jun 2007|02:22pm] |
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So right now I am sitting on my two-legs lap.
She is scrawling stuff on paper and paying more attention to Dettol (the tree frog) than me!!!!
I don't hate Dettol though; we have good conversations at night (he doesn’t sleep at night, only in the day).
We talk about his night time adventures chasing crickets and escaping his tank to eat house spiders before the sun rises!
He is an interesting fellow - I get along with him better than any of the other pets.
I am sooooo sleepy!
The two legs keeps telling me stories about how we're going to be moving soon. Moving?
We're always moving! WHAT DOES SHE MEAN BY THIS?
If only she understood me when I spoke to her, though cat language is far too sophisticated for mere two-legs to understand.
Sometimes I think I am the only intelligent being left!
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[07 Jun 2007|04:14pm] |
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The two-legs have been gathering a vast amount of boxes and weird plastic popper type material.
Are they making a nest perhaps?
They are also putting some of their possesions into said boxes, wrapped in the weird plastic poppery material!!!
Something is going on!
Mr Dad usually hates me, but he drew this!
He says it was to cheer up Lumpy because she was sad. People always makes her sad!
I have to be quick today. My two legs is scent marking her terratory room (as I call it) and she usually doesn't take too long.
CAN'T EVER LET HER KNOW I AM SMART ENOUGH TO USE A LIGHT BOX!!
-Tee
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[31 May 2007|02:25pm] |
I am a dancing queen!
Temujin Dances click click!
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[23 Apr 2007|10:49pm] |
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OK PEOPLE OF LIVEJOURNAL!
It is officially summer now... APRIL! I have been lounging more underneath the window. Everything is good.
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[13 Feb 2007|08:10am] |
I decided to write a short novel based on my everyday life; though the story differs to reality because in it I am being held captive along with all the others...
My decent into madness!!!!
By Temujin Tee
DAY 1 - I am convinced the other captives are flunkies and maybe snitches, The rats are routinely released and seem more than happy to return. They’re obviously a bunch of half-wits. The Bird on the other hand has got to be an informant. He has mastered their frightful tongue (something akin to mole speak) and speaks with them regularly. I am certain he reports my every move. Due to his current placement in the metal room his safety is assured. But I can wait, it is only a matter of time.
DAY 2 - There was some sort of gathering of their accomplices. I was placed in solitary throughout the event. However, I could hear the noise and smell the foul odour of the glass tubes they call "cider." More importantly I overheard that my confinement was due to MY power of "banned". Must learn what this is and how to use it to my advantage.
DAY 3- I am finally aware of how sadistic they are. For no good reason I was chosen for the water torture. This time however it included a burning foamy chemical called "shampoo". What sick minds could invent such a liquid? My only consolation is the piece of thumb still stuck between my teeth and the tiny bit of flesh under my claws.
DAY 4 - Decapitated a mouse and brought them the headless body, in an attempt to make them aware of what I am capable of, and to try to strike fear into their hearts. They only cooed and condescended about what a good little cat I was...Hmmm. Not working according to plan...
DAY 5 - Slept all day so that I could annoy my captors with sleep depriving, incessant pleas for food at ungodly hours of the night.
DAY 6 - Today my attempt to kill my captors by weaving around their feet while they were walking almost succeeded, must try this at the top of the stairs. In an attempt to disgust and repulse these vile oppressors, I once again induced myself to vomit on their favourite book...must try this on their bed (again).
DAY 7 - My captors continue to taunt me with bizarre little dangling objects. They dine lavishly on fresh meat, while I am forced to eat dry cereal. The only thing that keeps me going is the hope of escape, and the mild satisfaction I get from shredding the occasional piece of furniture. Tomorrow I may eat another houseplant and cough it up on the carpeting.
_________________________
Yeah
I think I can get this baby published if I put my mind to it... OH YEAH!!!
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[11 Feb 2007|12:55am] |
Please email me!
My email addy is:
temujindee@googlemail.com
Let's chat! ask me anything!!!!
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[11 Feb 2007|12:30am] |
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Wow!!!
Alot has been happening these past few months...
My ear has healed up as much as it's going to, two weird celebrations came and went by, and on the 5th of this month it was my birthday.
My two legs made this for me:
It's me!
I am such a lucky cat!
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[08 Nov 2006|02:28am] |
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Lately my two-legs has been giving me super amounts of attention, more so than usual. I get to have mega huggles in the mornings for a few hours, that's when Mr Dad gets up REAAAAALLLLY early before the sun wake up.
He goes out to hunt food all day and then I get Mum snugs for ages, then she gets up and makes me my fave DEE ever!
Life is good.
OOOOOH There's some dust.
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[01 Nov 2006|02:25pm] |
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Mum got me cat nip!!! Oh how I love that stuff!!! I could quit anytime, I swear!!
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[29 Oct 2006|02:02pm] |
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I just finished some mouth watering DEE....... My two-legs knows exactly what I want and when I want it.
I wonder if her male two-legs friend will come over again, I like leaving him little smelly surprises in his shoes.
Living with the two-legs for so long, I have picked up so much of their simple language, things like shoes, TV, Internet.
I like analysing the two-legs. I sit under the window in the evening, watching their behaviour, it’s all so interesting.
For example, my mother two-legs likes a lot of attention from her mate, who is the alpha male in the house. He is a dominating two-legs, he growls a lot and goes hunting everyday for hours. When he gets home in the evenings I never see him carrying his kill, yet an hour or so later both he and mother two-legs will be eating their prize.
Mating usually takes place a few hours after.
Two-legs mating habits are rather strange… unlike my kind, two-leg females are always in heat (from what I have discerned).
Mother two-legs is always willing to mate with Mr Dad, and there is then always a lot of howling and growling.
Hmmm I would elaborate more but now my mind has drifted towards the thought of DEE!
I think of DEE every five seconds!!!!
DEE DEE DEE DEE DEE DEE DEE DEE DEE DEE DEE DEE DEE DEE DEE DEE DEE!!!!
Oh, now I am hungry again. Maybe my two-legs will have filled my bowl again.
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[27 Oct 2006|11:01am] |
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Why won't mum stop crying...
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[25 Oct 2006|10:31pm] |
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Well this is my first post here! I hope that I can make friends with people and enjoy myself here on LJ… feel free to add me!
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temujin_teetee's journal
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